When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

Sophomore year of college, I took a psych course. I somehow completed most of the required courses for the year, so I had the chance to take a few more electives than normal, and I chose psychology. I don’t really know why I picked it, there were tons of other available options, but I guess part of me had hoped that I’d learn something that would help me make sense of the events of the last three years of my life.

 
We were studying loss and regret and the effects they can have on a person’s psyche. We were assigned a paper asking us to identify the one thing we regret most in our lives and discuss how it has affected us. Most people seemed to have somewhat of a difficult time deciding on what event to write about, but not me. I knew exactly what I was going to write about. It was an easy decision really; I had been thinking about it since I started the class. Everything we studied reminded me of it. It had happened over a year ago, but it was fresh in my mind and in my heart as though it had been only a few days. My greatest regret was my greatest heartbreak: losing the love of my life.

 
People find it hard to believe that we could have been so serious about each other and so deeply and passionately in love when we were so young, but what we had was more real than many of the “adult” relationships we grew up around. She was my world; my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, my everything. And I lost her.

 
And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy so was I

When she loved me

 
We’d been through so much together, both good and bad. I held her as she broke down and cried when her dad died, and I was there by her side celebrating with her when she was offered the chance to record an album, first together with Kyla singing their dad’s hits, then a few months later when she did her own solo album, filled with her own songs. We leaned on each other for support, and we shared each other’s joy. Neither of us would have had the strength to endure the hardships we were faced with alone, and even our happiest moments wouldn’t have been as perfect if we hadn’t experienced them together.